The Sweat Life


Why is no one else sweating at the gym? How are you people dry? I am on the elliptical for five minutes and look like I fell into a sprinkler system. What is wrong with me?

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Push-ups or tee tee accident???

It’s the first one.

I sweat. A LOT.

And please don’t act like you know what I’m talking about. Unless you climb the stair master in a shower, you don’t.

There’s a sign at Equinox asking us to limit towel usage in order to conserve water. I simply cannot. My towel usage far exceeds 2 and that’s by necessity. My yoga mat is a virtual slip and slide.

Last week someone asked me what I thought of the water aerobics class. For the record, I had not been in the pool.

I am back home in LA and today is tight. I need to hit the gym, get dressed, and motor to an appointment stat. This is hard for an over-sweater. And yes, I have heard of dry shampoo. It doesn’t work on sopping wet hair. Once a lady in the locker room suggested I sprinkle talcum powder in my hair to mop up the moisture.

I have two words for her: Paper Machè.

It’s raining in LA today, so I am going to go with the “I forgot my umbrella and my hair is drenched because it only rains twice a decade in LA and who the hell knew that one of those days would be today” scenario and roll with it.

Lunch at The Polo Lounge starts at 11:45 AM. Table for 2 on the patio, please.


Google Hyperhidrosis later this afternoon


Ya’ll gotta stop wearing 600 bracelets to kickboxing. People are getting injured.